Mid Year Before My Last Quarter of 20's : Tasya's

Year 2022. 

Would you look at that?! How time flies and how the clock ticks. 

Before 2020 happens.

I'm just a tiny human bean chasing and hustling the things around me while battling with daily crisis (or should I say daily "dugaan'?). I promised that not all days are good as it seems but some are unforeseen events that shaped me who I am right now. I was embarrassed with my very self and the circle that I'm less likely to exposed, the things I learnt which are I'm today's old while others probably think is meh. But whatever! IDGAF of humans babbling, bombarding about all these. Always remember everyone has judgements! 

My young-adult self envisioned that at 26, I will be having a content life where everything is settle down. You know things that will be permanent, consider buying instead of renting your own place, your own ride, your another "half" to achieve your future dream. Sadly, I'm 28 turning to 29 this year and yet to achieve any of this...(Nah, You don't have to know.😛Of course I have my own progression.) Yeah I see lots of people I've known are mostly settle down, married, having babies, new life, and it goes on and on. How do I feel? Me? Ok... As a human with feelings which all of us are entitled to feel for, of course: Jealousy, Insecure, Demotivated, Depression are experienced in some point in life. But hey, I take all of these feelings landed underneath my blankets accompanied with sleeping theme playlist to cast them away. The point is I don't want to have an excessive-blaming of myself letting the depression state continue sailing across the heart of my body. See? How negative the vibes are right? Like the eff weh! Rest assured...It makes me calm by learning 'tawakkul', the key to achieve a happier life. I have friends who suffered depression daily but I chose not to interfere to respect their privacy moment.

On the other hand, certain friends of mine are jealous with my life, said I am still an adult that has her own 'freedom'. Free to go anywhere, free to plan own things, free to learn new things, free here and there. I giggled when they said like that.😝 To me, even I'm a daughter, an employee of a construction field, I still have my responsibilities for daily routines. It's just that I'm mostly introvert at the moment as not all my friends are here. They all separate to their own paths. Back then, I was a 'lost star', confused while traveling around the cities in Selangor state to discover. I love to pretend being a tourist so I can use my DSLR📸 and take great photos and post it to my public platform/blog💻. Even picnic with friends is in my goal list but let just say, forget it! Without feeling regret, I turn the wheel the other way and switch to new hobbies. Simple as that. 

Constantly, I'm busy with my work that never seem to end, daily hustles, errands and counting numbers of list of my achievements. Although I never talk about it because why bother to share😒 when you are challenging with yourself. I am my own enemy. I seek knowledge, carry motivation and patience while walking through the potholes among the street to success. (Cheh wah ayat ni....LOL) Right now, I just want to learn and appreciate more, self-love, finding love? Let Love find me instead🙈...and the list goes on. Should I say 'walk the talk'. 

During 2020, I felt flat in the midst of pandemic with strict enforcement lockdowns in my country, Malaysia. Scrolling through the social medias reading thousands of people unemployed, constantly checking on people's life rising rapidly day by day. It felt scary like hell I must say. It's not funny and by looking at that page of the 2020 book where everything moving are paused for days just because of that silent killer virus - Covid-19.   Life indeed was harsh by that time. Don't only look at me, but you too. I said the whole planet "E" Earth experienced this unforeseen roller-coaster ride. 

From 2020 to 2022 - Terkejut 2 tahun kan?

Sigh*

2022

At this point...I have nothing else to say. All I am determine is to do whatever I want to achieve my own goal. 

Effort and Tawakkal. 💜

InsyaAllah.

Who knows the next few years my life will be different?

InsyaAllah