No Time to Waste for Junks

From Leopold to Kate

I flashed a radiant smile in front of my standing mirror while I keep staring at how I look so far.

It took a month plus to washed away the up-to-no-goods.

"Is Ok...You're fine." - a tiny voice echoed in my head. 

Is not to until I decided to take a long break from here uploading my post on every weekend (normally Saturday) for my current journey or what I have been doing lately. Kadang-kala malas nak cerita...

Knowing my blog is not really something but I do like to post and documented my few memories of little things I have encountered and received with love. The recent impromptu on-hiatus was a good thing for me and I kind of like the way it is. And since I decided to remain silent most of the time, I felt calm with the 'reliance on God's mindset, slowly and surely letting things go as time past without any hesitation. It's sucks to feel the same feeling when you are looking for something missing in yourself. Might as well just share it between you and your Creator. Humans have brains but their heart desires changes as time passes. Wait until you're fully commit to your spouse...Will it be the same? *Hmm.........

May the Odds be EVER in YOUR FAVOR.

To let myself being productive, I focused my daily hustles, sharing funny thoughts and important topics during lunch with them ladies (the 1st floor), giving advices to the one younger than me and learn from the seniors. Is a day-to-day developing process, accepting and listening more and listing down the inquiries if I don't get the picture. I'm glad that I still have some people look up at me even I see myself differently. The current miniseries on Netflix like; Squid Game (binge watching straight for 2 days), YOU Season 2 (Now Season 3 keluar pulak! Aiyo!), Kate and Leopold (Hugh Jackman is sooo fucking sweet and I wish our man can be like him, just look at how he apologise to his date!) Putting some shows a way to avoid the depress state, sad and sorrow.... Ya Allah I tak larat nak layan benda-benda sedih mentah macam ikan apa entah ni pergi goreng je lah ikan tu kalau dah bengang sangat. Jangan lupa letak kunyit dan garam gaul rata-rata sebelum goreng dengan minyak paneh ya.

On the same day I felt like Alice stuck in the rabbit hole on the way to Wonderland, my close friend, Viv invited me to dinner after work, which I then agreed and decided to leave earlier than before. It was nice to have a dinner with high-school mate after pandemic took our precious time of 2 years of suffering. Yes, everyone is suffering and it kills me not able to take a good 5 minutes walk just to enjoy the sky view as the birds chirping freely. Breathing the air while slow jog as I listened to my playlist. There're countless times, when I cycling around the neighbourhood at night just to get rid of me at my lowest. Missing that moment. As soon as we both arrived, we decided to had dinner at SERAI and a good warm and long talk about my situation and hers. If you read this Vi, I am honestly happy that you are by my side and when I am at yours since you were having hard time dealing with that human. (If you are not genuine then leave the app, otherwise remain a lone ranger if you may! Don't be a complete arse for hurting a lady's feeling. Fly back to Neverland if you don't wish to grow up.) 

Our 1 hour dinner plus warm-heart conversation turned into a mini time-urgency when most of the retail shops closed at 8.30pm. We did not panic...but...What the eff? How am I going to Lovisa after din-din? In order to keep the conversation going on, we head to WHISK ESPRESSO BAR & BAKE SHOP that serves ordinary home-bakes (no sugary type) and coffee, not sure if they serve full course meal because I was eyeing for light delights by the time dinner ends. We had 2 slices of cake and a jar of plain water to continue our story. Yeah, it was bitter-sweet and comedy episodes and guess what...I did not finished my slices as I was too full. End the day with food coma before hit the sack. The heck is with me...Esok dah lah kerja...pe hal...

The next few days, I brought mom and sis at BREW N BREAD (Kota Kemuning), a lifestyle cafe for lunch after Mel's dentist appointment (fixing her retainer). The restaurant was only like 5 blocks away from the dentist but mom insist us to drive to there instead of walking because the sun was so hot around 1pm in the afternoon. After I put down the wheel, we enter the restaurant with only 15 minutes of queue. Luckily there's a wide round table that can fit us 3 and social distancing 1 sit to another. Rules are rules and we have no right to unfollow since we are in endemic phrase. Mom was not impressed with her course, I chose chicken with carbs while Mel has her avocado sandwich. However, the appetiser and snack are delicious. I would love to have my croissant melt with butter or chocolate the moment I indulged a spoonful of it with a glass of plain water. The appetiser served with fried chicken and good choices of salad dressing. Can't remember if it's balsamic vinaigrette but I like how they presented the salad. 

I remembered the time when I was beaming at myself, weeping alone while lowered down the volume of my Spotify playlist, sniffling in pews while wrapping myself with my fluffy soft blanket. I locked the door and still hardly sleep because tears are still shedding like pouring rain. My side white table flooded with up-coming reads and I'm the worst procrastinator reader ever....It was not my lowest point but it was one of the day that I give my self some space to think and to look into. It was the right time for me to feel like there will always light to carry on. In fact, disappearing for a while helps me to think that there's a reason why this shit happen. No matter how you think it is....I even reject to read the quotes from groups because it makes me feel worst also some advice from soc-med are not 100% helping. It is meant to read, with an open-minded thinking and freedom to share your perspectives. It's up to you to accept it or not. If me...I just read and scrolled away. 

The following days are just plenty of Netlfix and chill, but one thing I want to put myself as a reminder:

This is a marathon, not a sprint. Your yearning for more meaning is a sign that you are growing, moving beyond limitations, and developing your talents. It's healthy to look at where you are from time to time, and to consider whether your actions and priorities are serving your highest purposes. 

A book I'm currently reading by Nick Vujicic. Really inspiring. 

Is not like I'm living with quotes, but just sharing this sentences. 

Till here...

P/S: I just finished MAID miniseries in Netflix. It was a good simple story plot of how a young mama working  as a part time cleaner with her 2 year old struggling with emotional abuse by the boyfriend.