Sick for the Whole Week

After a few days of struggling, I decided to surrender. I am absofuckinglutely exhausted, tired, headache, annoyed with these mix feelings that had been running through my mind for the past few weeks.

Eventually, it is not about overwork, but something that can lead you into an empty room. That empty room probably could make you lose control and stress your entire body that lead to  - illness.

People, humans; are sensitive. But hey, I am saying facts here.

(Nobody is perfect, if humans are that perfect, why they're born mortal instead?)

Some people even suggested me to take a medical leave instead. But I refused, as I still am able to attend for work. Ohh well...

I did not pushed myself, I just don't want to missed a single thing from being unattended. I valued and cherished the A to Z of my human capital list. (You'll know what I mean.) It's not like I don't have home remedies or medicine at home, it's just that I want it go naturally away from my fatigue.

Eventually, things get worsen until I almost shed tears in the car. But, I survived with a list of The greatest showman OST, encouragements from the love ones and also reading positive vibes in instagram. (I have gain too much things until I forgot that I need "my time".)

Not too while ago...the "I hate to" got me into few negative energy:

I hate myself for being so weak.

I hate myself for being into this situation.

I hate myself for being unable to do things when I'm was struck by a small lightning.

I hate myself for....and more.

Most of all. I hate bragging about it repeatedly in my mind. 

All these bullshits got to stop! -STOP

I went home, texted mom for warm food and slept early at 9pm for 5 days. Mom suggested me to go clinic, but I said I will if I couldn't make it to office. The greenish-yellowish fucking ugly phlegm won't stop growing in my nose from my throat. 

Here I am, spending every 15 minutes of an hour to the washroom to threw that disgusting liquid away. My face was deeply pale with tired eyes, the moment I saw my pale face, I immediately draw a dark red lip matte junkie to cover my current state. I even washed my face, give a little moisture instead looking like an old dread.

Colourful earrings helps a lot and motivates me to stay strong. You know when you mix match your working tops and earrings right? I can't live without it, because earrings are one of my favourite element in fashion.

As days goes by, I recovered slowly, drank more warm water (IT HELPS A LOT!), consumed clear broth and rice regain energy, inactive social medias and slept at 9pm. I put my phone away and switched to night shield. My body was comfort with thick fluffy blanket accompany with favourite baby pillow. I need that moment for myself for a while. 

It's not like feeling a kid. But you know - getting yourself pampered after a long day..

Food for sickness? 

The best thing is to consumed zinc and potassium from bananas. It helps a lot and also good for digestion. To go for a lighter meal, I got myself some clear vegetable broth, steamed chicken/meat and rice. You need it for instant energy, stabilise blood sugar level and providing vitamin B1 for your body. 

Don' skip rice, ladies. You still need some even living in the 21st century.

I felt good after few days of practice these for my running nose illness. - I hate cough too.

It was tough for me, but I am thankful that everything went peaceful.